November 13th, 2022
Grief never ends. But it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.
I remember being in seventh grade and just counting down the days until I was able to be considered an adult.
(Although, my only real concern at the time was making sure I would graduate from high school)
Part of me wants to think that most young females think this way, but maybe it was just me. I remember all of my college professors telling me to take it all in and enjoy the moment. They would always make a point to tell me that being a student was extremely valuable and the time spent in your early adult life would ultimately shape you into the person that you were meant to be.
And man, were they right.
I am beyond convinced that every year continues to get shorter, and that time goes by a lot faster than I care to admit. When people tell you that time is precious, believe me when I say that it is. If these past few months have taught me anything, it is to hold onto the ones you love. We don't know how much time we have left on this earth. Life is so short, so precious...I won't take that for granted again.
The past few months have been a whirlwind to say the least. Many life altering events have taken place this past fall. The first being that Jacob's lovely grandma, Gilda Holvick, went to be with our Lord and Savior unexpectedly on August 3rd due to a tragic accident. The second being that my beloved grandma, Mary Jane Retzloff, also went to be with the Lord on August 26th. Those two specific dates that I just named are also very important for different reasons. August 3rd, 1997 is also the date that my grandpa, Duane Retzloff, passed away, and August 26th, 1999 is Jacob's birthday. God's timing is perfect in every way because I can't imagine going through such a heartbreaking loss alone. It made a wold of a difference to be able to experience those raw emotions with someone that was going through the same grief.
I will forever be thankful for the time that Jacob spent with Nama and for the time that I was able to spend with Gilda. Those memories are beyond precious, and I will forever hold them close to my heart. It has taken me a few months to process both of these losses, but every day, I am constantly reminded of God's unfailing grace and comfort during times of suffering. Grief shows itself in many different ways. It is not a fun process and we all deal with it differently as individuals. Some days are harder than others, but the memories that we share with them, we carry with us every day. Having the constant love and support of both of our mother's has also been a huge blessing.
Karen and Virginia, we love you both so much!
As Thanksgiving and Christmas are quickly approaching, please think of our families. Think of us. This will be a hard year to tackle, and I know that we will feel the loss of both of these beautiful souls heavily. Please keep us in your prayers during this holiday season. We are so thankful for the many blessings that these past few months have bestowed, but grief is a journey. It takes a village, and we are so thankful for ours!
Now, onto happier topics.
Over the past six weeks, I have had the distinct honor of apprenticing at Grand Rapids Civic Theatre And School Of Theatre Arts. I have learned so much about my capabilities as a teacher, choreographer, and as a director. Being able to jump back into the theatre world has been such an amazing experience. The connections that I have made will ultimately serve as an asset to my career, and I could not be more thankful to the amazing staff for welcoming me with open arms! I was mentored by one of the amazing staff members over the past six weeks and I could not be more thankful for her willingness to share her knowledge with me! I was tasked with choreographing the majority of two musical numbers from Mary Poppins which was a musical that I had never been involved with before! I am so incredibly thankful for the trust that Civic has instilled in me and I am beyond excited for winter term!
I also accepted a position as a teacher with Michigan Ballet Academy for the 2022-2023 season back in September! This has been such an incredible opportunity to be able continue learning and growing as a teacher. I had the honor of teaching a masterclass to their pre-professional division as an audition class, and I am now assisting with rehearsals for their performance of the Nutcracker which will be performed by Deos Contemporary Ballet along with the students of MBA! I am constantly blown away by these students and their eagerness to learn!
The rest of my journey has taken place at CARE Conservatory of Ballet. This incredible organization has been a huge part of my story since I was sixteen years old. I owe much of my training and success to a very important person by the name of Heather Liskiewitz. She has served as a teacher, mentor, friend, colleague, co-worker, boss, and many more. I have had the honor of knowing this beautiful lady since I was thirteen years old. She has invested her time, energy, resources, and ultimately her experiences into my training. She has been one of my biggest supporters and a long time friend throughout the years. I could not be more thankful for the endless connections and opportunities that have made themselves known because of her.
CARE Ballet and The Creative Arts Repertoire Ensemble have been a staple in the Grand Rapids performing arts community for the past 30 years. They are celebrating their 30th anniversary and I could not be more honored to be a part of it! After years of teaching for their annual CARE Camp and summer master classes, I was so thankful to be brought on staff for their 2022-2023 season!
The leadership has been so willing to work with my crazy availability as well as giving me constant opportunities to showcase my skill as a female teacher and choreographer. I feel seen. I feel valued. I feel supported. I feel appreciated. I feel fulfilled. However, most importantly, I don't need to beg for opportunities. They are just handed to me.
My students are always wanting to learn, grow, and be pushed in every way possible. I was able to choreograph, film, direct, teach, and edit my first ever college screening for one of my students. It was such a honor to be asked to create something unique for her. I am also being pushed outside of my comfort zone with classes that I wouldn't normally teach. I am so excited to continue learning and growing as a teacher and choreographer going into the new year! I have so much I want to say with my work, and it makes the world of a difference when you have people supporting you along the way!
When it comes to being a teacher, you need to understand that you will never know everything. That sentence has thrown me for a loop time after time again. When you think of a teacher, you always think that they must know everything. It is their job to know everything. There is a lot of truth in those statements. Being a teacher is a huge responsibility. You are working with students who listen to every word you say. They watch every movement you make. It is so vitally important to be setting a good example for them because ultimately, it will be your name that comes out of their mouth at the end of the day. They will remember a lot more about you as a teacher then you will about them as a student. As an artist, working with eager young dancers is one of my favorite things when it comes to being a teacher. Being able to invest into their training and be a part of their journey is ultimately the most fulfilling aspect of what I do. I could not be more proud to serve as one of their teachers.
Fall season has come and gone almost as quickly as I had anticipated. I could not be more thankful for these past few months. I was able to attend The Creative Arts Repertoire Ensemble's production of Cinderella and they are currently in full swing for their annual production of Twas the Night Before Christmas which will be performed on November 25th, 26th, and 27th at the East Grand Rapids Performing Arts Center! You will not want to miss this enchanting tale that was created by CARE's founder Judy Genson-Wadsworth! I am beyond excited to see what the winter has in store in all aspects of life, but I am forever grateful for this art form, these humans, and all the possibilities that are yet to come!
Visit the link below to get tickets to Twas the Night Before Christmas! I hope to see you there!
Click the link below to watch the contemporary college screening I created for Gwen Patterson of Care Conservatory of Ballet!
"Art is to console those who are broken by life." - Vincent Van Gogh
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