April 26th 2022
"And being apart ain't easy on this love affair. Two strangers learn to fall in love again. I get the joy of rediscovering you. Oh girl, you stand by me. I'm forever yours, faithfully" - Journey
I remember being about eight years old when Taylor Swift's Love Story music video aired for the first time in 2008. That video was a very influential picture of what I thought love actually looked like. The iconic tragic love story of Romeo and Juliet and how they chose to die because one couldn't live without the other. It was the 1400's with the ridiculous dresses and elaborate balls. Courting was the only way to properly find a potential spouse. Family feuds would ultimately dictate who you could or couldn't marry. At the time, I didn't understand what love was, and that was completely fine with me. I was just shy of nine and was far more concerned with what I was eating for dinner that night than I was about anything remotely relating to the idea of love.
My version of love (from the perspective of a spunky eight year old) was how Belle fell in love with a ugly beast. She learned to look inwardly and to love him for who he was because of his heart. I'm sure most girls my age growing up would make the same deductions from any number of Disney princess movies. Female's are taught at a very young age how they are supposed to be treated based off of the example that their parents display. That is why in most cases, girls tend to go for boys that remind them of their father.
Now, in my case, I didn't have a dad to teach me such things. My mother was the one who really explained how a boy should treat me when the time comes, and she did just that. However, I was blessed beyond measure with three wonderful examples of what a good man should look like. My Uncle Ron, Uncle Greg, and my Uncle Denis. All three of these men have heavily influenced what qualities I look for in a boy.
Do they have a good head on their shoulders? Are they able to provide for you? Does he come from a good family? Are you on the same page spiritually? Will he support you and your career? Will he stand by you in the hard times? I can hear their voices in my head asking me these questions as I type this.
They lead by godly example, by their experiences, and I have so much respect and love for them. My only hope is that every girl has a good example of what a healthy and god honoring marriage should look like.
Society had a hand in painting a very non-realistic picture of how love should be portrayed. It was plastered on TV, talked about in romance novels, all over social media, and in every movie you could possibly think of. The glamor of expensive gifts, nice dinners, perfect pictures, extravagant vacations, unrealistic expectations, and money to flaunt to your family and friends. They only showed the triumphs instead of the struggles. The agreements instead of the disagreements. How one bends to the others will without compromise or negotiation. It did not give me an accurate representation of what a real relationship should look like. I didn't understand what selfless love truly was until I met Jacob.
My mother would always tell me "You want to let him come to you" or "play hard to get."
Well, let me tell you right now, if I had truly listened to her, I wouldn't be dating him.
I did make the first move because if I hadn't, I would have lost out on what a truly incredible human he is.
He was perfectly oblivious, but yet he was extremely aware of how everything just fell into place naturally. I can't really explain it to this day other than we had a connection from the time I was introduced to him in January of 2021. I didn't know what kind of connection or how far it would go, but I knew that he was going to be a part of my life one way or another. In February of 2021, he was offered an amazing job with Black Lantern Security which is a Cybersecurity company in Charleston, South Carolina. At the time, we were not talking or seeing each other, but even if we were, I would have told him to go. Six months later, I called him out of the blue because I knew he was back in town to see his mom. Later that week, we tested the waters and met up just to see where things went. We ended up talking for about five hours that night. He told me in the car that he wanted to see me again, and after that was said, I really didn't want him to get out of my car.
Virginia always says "Energy recognizes energy" or "The universe just knows"
Well, I think we both knew too.
There were way too many phone calls and way too many meaningful conversations for this not to be significant for both of us. We knew this, our parents knew this, our families knew this, and our friends knew this. Now here we are, eight months later, and I could not be more thankful for him.
My mom asked me to describe him in three words when I was just getting to know him.
I didn't even hesitate to rattle off loyal, gentle, and resilient. The three extra words that she didn't ask for but got anyways were determined, strong-willed, and patient. He does have a good head on his shoulders. He is able to provide for me. He does come from a beautiful family. He will stand by me in the hard times. He does support my career. He keeps me grounded. He is genuine. He is real. He is humble. My best friend. My soulmate. My Jacob.
All I can say is mother's always know.
Both my mom and Jacob's mom had the same reaction when they saw the same picture of us from when I went to visit him in Charleston earlier this year. They knew that we had found each other. They both understood what had shifted in our lives in order for us to pursue each other. It really is amazing how things become so much clearer when you find YOUR person. He is the best support system, shoulder to cry on, and the only person who can make me laugh about absolutely nothing. We are able to motivate each other in our professional careers by helping each other reach our fullest potential on a daily basis. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect person to step into my life at the moment. I am constantly learning and gaining a new perspective of life because of him. He has taught me so much in such a short amount of time, and I know that we will continue to grow along side of each other in the years to come. I thank God for him every day, and I am so incredibly proud to call him mine.
"Some people bring you a million blessings. Some people teach you a million lessons. All that I learned, it wasn't my turn, it wasn't the right time. Some people come in your life for a reason. Others they come in your life for a season. But baby, you are a lifetime." Lifetime by Justin Bieber
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