April 18th, 2023
When I was growing up, my mother was always my number one supporter when it came to just about anything.
She was always the first one to tell me that when one door closes, another one opens, or no matter how old you become, you will never stop growing as a human being. She always told me that I was going to accomplish many things because that was how my brain was wired. I always have new ideas, new goals, new dreams, new aspirations, and in the arts...that is not a bad thing. Most people involved in any form of the performing arts would die to have a constant flow of inspirations. It has served me well in my career, but only when I figured out how my mind actually worked.
My undiagnosed ADD heavily impacted my academics when I was in high school. When it came to English, Writing, Reading, Psychology, History, and Public Speaking. I excelled not just because those subjects could hold my attention, but because I genuinely enjoyed them. However, Science and Math were a different story. I would much rather write a ten page paper than take a math test any day. Maybe that is why college came so much easier to me because at least half of it was writing lengthy papers. I kept thinking that something was wrong with me because I couldn't understand the quadratic formula or how Covalent and Ionic bonds were different. It wasn't until I understood that I was an auditory learner (by about 85%) when I realized how my mind actually worked. When I got to college, all of my general education courses were lectures, and unlike high school, they didn't require you to take pages upon pages of notes.
I got far more out of listening to my professors and reading my text book than I did by taking an unnecessary amount of notes. So when COVID hit, that was a dream come true for me because all of the lectures were recorded, and I was able to listen to them over and over again. I actually got better grades during the pandemic than I did when I was attending classes in person. It also made sense when I realized that music was what inspired me when it came to choreography. Every work that I have ever created started with me fining a piece of music that caught my attention. I would listen to it over and over and over again until I started hearing certain movements in the music itself. If I closed my eyes and just listened, the piece would come to life in my mind. It was almost magical in a way. My director from Grand Rapids Ballet said I had a superpower when it came to remembering choreography for our full-length ballets. However, It wasn't a super power, it was because the music helped me visualize the movements.
To this day, music is the first thing that inspires me. It usually falls in the category of strings
because to me, strings are the most powerful to the ear. I didn't start choreographing to lyrics until I got to college. To me, using lyrics was cheating because they practically told you what emotion or story needed to be portrayed. There was something so raw about not having to follow what the words were saying with your movement. It was liberating because everything was all up to me. I forced myself to use my mind, think outside of the box, and come up with what I wanted to get across to the audience. I truly believe that it helped shape me as a teacher, dancer, artist, and choreographer.
Although, it also helped shape me as a human being. Growing up, I had to work for every ounce of recognition I got when it came to dance. I was not blessed with good turnout, high extensions, perfect feet, or petit legs. God gave me the body he did, and it was my job to make it work to my advantage, so I did. I spent time in class, at summer intensives, going over choreography at home, taking corrections, and pushing myself in order to improve. I had to focus on what I could change. Being a dancer taught me a lot about self respect. You spend so much time being told what you did wrong in order to make you a better dancer. It is the teachers job to point out your flaws in order to help you understand how you can be best you can be. If you do not have a strong sense of self worth, it can be detrimental to your mental health. I was truly blessed by my teachers who constantly encouraged, motivated, and guided me throughout my high school years. They are the reason I am who I am today, and now, I am in a position where I am able to invest into the next generation of aspiring dancers.
As Spider-Man always said
"With great power comes great responsibility"
I am in the middle of crunch time for the end of my season with Muskegon Civic Theatre and CARE Conservatory of Ballet which has been nothing short of a dream. I grew up participating in community theatre, so I was ecstatic when I was asked to take on choreographing Rogers and Hammerstein's full-length Cinderella for MCT. I have had the distinct honor of working with the legendary Penelope Notter who has had the most impressive directing career with Grand Rapids Civic Theatre for over thirty years. The amount of information I have absorbed from her throughout this process is somewhat daunting, but I am so thankful for the opportunity for this twenty-four year old choreographer to make it in with the big leagues. Penny has been such a bring light for me during a very dark time. I truly believe that everyone comes into your life for a purpose, and I could not be more thankful for her constant guidance, encouragement, wisdom, and support throughout these past few months. I have grown so much and have had the honor of meeting so many talented people. It has truly been a life changing experience, and I am so excited to head into tech week and present my work to the community.
This coming weekend, I was honored to be asked to teach auditions for CARE Conservatory of Ballet as they head into their 31st season in the Grand Rapids community! I will also be choreographing an original work on two of their seasoned ensemble members that will be debuted at Student Cabaret on May 11th. CARE is such a beautiful organization that nurtures students love and appreciation for the performing arts. I am so honored that I was able to be a part of their 30th season.
My plans for the summer are still in the works, but I am thrilled to be going to Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp as a member of their Modern Dance Faculty this coming July! I spent time at Blue Lake when I was thirteen, and I can honestly say that some of my favorite middle school memories took place during the four weeks I spent there. It was my first time away from home for more than a weekend, and my first time training somewhere other than my ballet school. So, I am very thankful to be invited back as a part of their esteemed faculty! The rest of my summer plans are still currently in the works, but this past year has been pivotal in my growth as a female artist in the industry.
It has also contributed to my growth as a human being.
When you are in your mid twenties, your life is constantly changing. You are meeting new people, establishing important relationships, making decisions for yourself, and figuring out who you want to be as an individual. There will be moments of happiness, there will be moments of confusion, there will be moments of heartbreak, there will be moments of anger, and then there will be moments of silence. People often talk about the calm before the storm. However, I believe that the calm after the storm is when the change truly happens.
My beautiful Aunt Diane told me the other day that
"God speaks the loudest in the silence, you just need to be willing to listen to Him"
If the past few months have taught me anything, it is that you are constantly growing as a human being. It takes time to figure out what you want in life, where you want to go, but there is no required timeline. That is the beauty of a new chapter, you have the freedom to do whatever you want to do. No strings attached. Change is a beautiful thing. It makes you appreciate the constants in your life. It makes you recognize your self worth. It makes you realize all that you have to offer the world. It makes you value the relationships that are worth fighting for. It makes you susceptible to the power of forgiveness and prayer. It makes you view your life from a different perspective. Most importantly, It makes you rise to the occasion and become the person that God wants you to be.
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